Question Regarding Kids and Facebook/Texting

[VaNurse]

Thanks Gents. All very good opinions. Yeah, he is OVERLY the sensitive one of the family, a very feminine guy and overweight, never touched a ball of anykind in his life, pretty much closet gay. I have nothing against that and have a gay sister myself. I may have underlying tones that he takes the wrong way, but not so much him as it is Ang overly protecting him if ANYONE even looks at her baby the wrong way.

Just my two pennies but these words come across as negative to me. The statement that you have nothing against being gay and having a gay sister yourself reminds me of bigots who deny it by saying they have black friends. As others have noted, obviously I don't know you or your family but what you said makes me think you're disappointed in this kid and, if that's the case, I'm sure he feels it even if he can't identify it.

This child sounds like he could benefit from some counseling and/or medication. If he's sensitive and has to endure teasing about his weight or lack of masculinity, he may prefer the anonymity of the Internet and is able to pretend he's someone else, (read someone likeable) when communicating online.

 

[Wineguy]

Can everyone get on a conference call at 4 pm EST? :SIB I think we can resolve a lot about this easier if you understand 2 things:

I am not a gay hater and in fact live in a very gay city and have a bunch of gay friends we actively hang out with. Ask Ang.

I support this kid in his Liberal Arts Program at school and work the concession stand EVERY play he is in. This does not make me the best Step-Dad in my mind yyz, just let it be known I support what he gets involved in. Yes I asked opinions, yours just always seems holier than thou replies.

Va, Thanks and good points on anonymity.

Gmroz- points well taken

Jack- :facepalm:

KOD- :0008

Chadman- good points on kids multi-tasking

airportis- when phone constantly lights up it is annoying

Lemon- :142smilie thought about that (j/k everyone)

Bobby......great question....yyz?

zig- whatever, you obviously did not read everything said. Go back to kissing yyz's ass. BTW, don't take me seriously

Marine- :142smilie

Don't forget to dial in 1-800-STEP-DAD

Password:Needhelp

 

[The Joker]

Do your kids do the same and you just don't care?

:0corn

I don't have kids, but I have 8 nieces and nephews and nearly all of them will multi-task and do things with their phone while doing other things......

My bosses kids do the same thing and he comes to work asking me the same thing you just asked here.

I also use my phone while watching Pawn Stars or especially an NFL football game - commercials come on and I pick up my phone.

Anyway - I would consider this behavior normal 2011 teen behavior.....as far as constantly being on the phone using Facebook etc.....kids are 100% different now than kids in previous decades.

 

[Sportsaholic]

Wineguy, 4pm doesnt work well for me.......I have to meet up with a couple of overweight, Black, Gay Hair Stylist in town at 4 :SIB


5:30 maybe :shrug:

 

[Woodson]

Im not a parent but like Nick I have several noeces and nephews.

It is about EXPECTATION.

When everyone agrees on movie night let it be known that no cell phones or ipads or electronics can be used. My sis calls it family time where DS and laptops are put away.

If you set expectations a head of time then they wont feel ambushed and threatened.

He's 17. Just because he sleeps all day doesnt make him lazy. He doesnt live by the same sleep schedule as you.


And as a friend, I would be upset that my father figure wrote about me in that light. Years from now if not already if a family member reads your post it will be a bad day in your house hold. You may have a blind side to how you view your step son.

Talk to him and Ang... I hear todays kids live with up to the age of 26..... Yikes.

Love ya man.

 

[yyz]

Bobby, I do have a child.

Raising them isn't really that hard. They don't ask for much from their parents.

Listen to your kids. Respect your kids. Accept them, and don't try to make them what YOU want them to be.

The rest falls into place like magic.

 

[yyz]

zig- whatever, you obviously did not read everything said. Go back to kissing yyz's ass. BTW, don't take me seriously

Come on, man.

Everything you wrote about that boy was negitive. Not one positive thing. That's not on me, and doesn't make the many people who have pointed that out, my ass-kissers.

You pretend to be asking for opinions on this matter, when all you are really doing is trying to find others who validate your stance. It's not working out that well, and you are mad.

Christ, even your wife isn't on your side, so she's wrong too?

 

[SixFive]

I wish my kids would text more. Mebbe they would fight less that way, haha!!

There is no expectAtion of privacy with their phones though... Ive been known to take my daughter's unexpectedly and read her texts. :0008

 

[zig]

Come on, man.

Everything you wrote about that boy was negitive. Not one positive thing. That's not on me, and doesn't make the many people who have pointed that out, my ass-kissers.

You pretend to be asking for opinions on this matter, when all you are really doing is trying to find others who validate your stance. It's not working out that well, and you are mad.

Christ, even your wife isn't on your side, so she's wrong too?

I hate to be such an ass kisser, but I totally agree with this too. Actually, what you wrote could have been me with my middle son about 10 years ago. I supported him and went to his school activities and stuff too. But, we just did not see eye to eye and I was'nt as close with him as I was with my older son. He moved away from our home in Wisconsin right out of high school. He went to a junior college in Santa Monica for 2 years, than moved to Berkley and got his degree at Cal. He lives in New York City now and we see him once or twice a year. We get along fine, but I do wish I had more patience and understanding with him while growing up. It goes fast and you can't get it back. I am not saying I totally disagree with you about the cell phone thing though, I guess I am just saying don't let it strain your relationship with him. As others here have said, I don't think it's that important.

 

[UGA12]

Yeah, REALLY! You could not be more wrong dickhead. I support him more than his own Dad and NEVER condescend about weight, gay, feminine, etc. Those areas are off limits in my opinion. Too hard to explain I guess in a written forum. Thanks guys. I'm obviously wrong about constant texting and facebook and need to turn an eye. He lays on couch with hoodie over head, 3-4 blankets on him, and stays 4-6 hours that way prone, and that after sleeping until 1 or 2 on non-school days. I guess with no school all week I came to a venting head with my fellow 'Jackers. I MORE than keep comments to myself. Carry on. :0008

I seem to remember you throwing me under the bus last week by misinterpreting my post. You sure didnt mind jumping to conclusions then, so not sure why you would get upset when others do it to you. I wont take this opportunity to say "you suck" or "you should be ashamed". I will however wish you the best as parenting is hard enough, I can only imagine step-parenting. GL with your situation.

 

[Sportsaholic]

I seem to remember you throwing me under the bus last week by misinterpreting my post. You sure didnt mind jumping to conclusions then, so not sure why you would get upset when others do it to you. I wont take this opportunity to say "you suck" or "you should be ashamed". I will however wish you the best as parenting is hard enough, I can only imagine step-parenting. GL with your situation.

:0074

 

[the addict]

Bobby, I do have a child.

Raising them isn't really that hard. .

perhaps this may be the case for you and your child.


not true for many others however.

i am not sayin i struggle with parenting, my daughter is only 1, but i love every minute of it.


some ppl on the other hand just arent good parents. it is hard for them and it doesnt just "fall into place" like you stated above.

not reffereing too wineguy at all with this post, im just lettin ya know cause i work with kids and their families and have for nearly 5 years.

im glad it is easy for ya tho yyz! your kid is lucky too have a parent who understands them and is good with em.

There is some sad cases out there i have worked on, where that just isnt the case though...





GL too ya wineguy, really noone on here can tell ya if your right, wrong, or anything else. You have too find a solution amongst your family, and implement that plan. What people on here say has no bearing on what happens in your particular case. Talk to the kid, maybe a conversation is all you need to understand him better:shrug:

 

[zig]

Bobby, I do have a child.

Raising them isn't really that hard. I don't know about that. They don't ask for much from their parents.

Listen to your kids. agree Respect your kids. agree Accept them, and don't try to make them what YOU want them to be. afree

The rest falls into place like magic.

Wow. I wish that were the case. I agree with the first part, but I don't know about the falling into place like magic part. Kids are going to test you. The hard part is figuring out when to be a parent and not just a friend. It's still the parents job to teach a kid manners and such things as the appropriate time to use a cell phone. The hard part is how you do it.

 

[yyz]

Wow. I wish that were the case. I agree with the first part, but I don't know about the falling into place like magic part. Kids are going to test you. The hard part is figuring out when to be a parent and not just a friend. It's still the parents job to teach a kid manners and such things as the appropriate time to use a cell phone. The hard part is how you do it.

What I'm saying is, when you have those things with your child, everything is a little easier.

Kids are people, but some parents treat their children in a way they wouldn't dream of treating anyone else. I never understood that.


Do you respond better with someone who treats you fairly, or someone who shits on you? Etc, etc.

That's what I'm getting at here.

 

[saint]

Pretty simple solution in my household.

if we are sitting down as a family to watch a movie then no phones. None of the kids, none for me, none for the wife.

That's the problem with 'parents' these days. Everyone wants to be a pal instead of doing what's necessary. Loving your kid doesn't always mean giving them everything they want. If you love your kid, you do what's necessary because you're the parent.

I'm pretty jaded on the subject since I see many kids day in and out for my profession. It's been a valuable lesson for me, as I can directly see what parenting styles will do to a developing child.

We live in a "give your kid everything they want, don't let them get upset, everyone's a winner" society. It's a disservice to kids and they grow up spoiled fucking brats because of it.

It's possible to have structure and rules in a household without being stifling. It's called parenting. And you know what? You can do it and still have your kids love you and think you're a great parent. Too bad most Americans are too fucking lazy to be a real parent.

opcorn2

 

[BobbyBlueChip]

Bobby, I do have a child

Gotcha. It was a sincere question.

 

[redsfann]

Pretty simple solution in my household.

if we are sitting down as a family to watch a movie then no phones. None of the kids, none for me, none for the wife.

That's the problem with 'parents' these days. Everyone wants to be a pal instead of doing what's necessary. Loving your kid doesn't always mean giving them everything they want. If you love your kid, you do what's necessary because you're the parent.

I'm pretty jaded on the subject since I see many kids day in and out for my profession. It's been a valuable lesson for me, as I can directly see what parenting styles will do to a developing child.

We live in a "give your kid everything they want, don't let them get upset, everyone's a winner" society. It's a disservice to kids and they grow up spoiled fucking brats because of it.

It's possible to have structure and rules in a household without being stifling. It's called parenting. And you know what? You can do it and still have your kids love you and think you're a great parent. Too bad most Americans are too fucking lazy to be a real parent.

opcorn2

Amen men, brother. I can't speak to the subject that started this thread as my kids are 3 and almost 2, but in our house there are already rules that are iron-clad and don't get changed for any reason.
You can call me a dictator or whatever the fuk you want to, but I was raised with rules and there were consequences when those rules weren't followed and my kids will be raised the same way.
I love my parents, I respect my parents and in some ways, I sill fear my parents and I expect my kids to feel the same way towards me as I do towards my parents.
The sad thing is, we may be the only parents left out there that actually parent their children rather than try and be their buddies all the time.

 

[UGA12]

Amen men, brother. I can't speak to the subject that started this thread as my kids are 3 and almost 2, but in our house there are already rules that are iron-clad and don't get changed for any reason.
You can call me a dictator or whatever the fuk you want to, but I was raised with rules and there were consequences when those rules weren't followed and my kids will be raised the same way.
I love my parents, I respect my parents and in some ways, I sill fear my parents and I expect my kids to feel the same way towards me as I do towards my parents.
The sad thing is, we may be the only parents left out there that actually parent their children rather than try and be their buddies all the time.

Same here. Most of our friends feel we are to hard on our kids, but we could care less. Most of those that feel that way basically let their children have their way.

 

[Woodson]

I think I just made another child...

:shrug:

 

[Sportsaholic]

I think I just made another child...

:shrug:

Did you light the lamp opcorn2