Post here sayings that make you LOL
- Thread starter Terryray
- Start date
Is she ugly? She looks like she was hit with a sack full of nickels!
We have a gal at work who wears so much face paint........I told the guys one day, "I ran into her coming around a corner, and I got a make over!"
Here's one I like to use on the guys at work, too. Guys will always look at a gal and say, "I would fuck her!"
Just tell them back: "Yeah.....with the help of the date rape drug and some duct tape!"
How come no one posted this old dandy:
"I wouldn't fuck her with YOUR dick!"
"I'm not saying she was loose, but it was like throwin' a hotdog down a hallway..."
"I'm so broke, I can't pay attention."
"I'm so tired, I need a nap before I go to bed."
"He's so fat, he stops at Wendy's on the way to McDonald's."
"I don't know whether to shit or go blind." (I've never figured out wtf that one means????)
We have a gal at work who wears so much face paint........I told the guys one day, "I ran into her coming around a corner, and I got a make over!"
Here's one I like to use on the guys at work, too. Guys will always look at a gal and say, "I would fuck her!"
Just tell them back: "Yeah.....with the help of the date rape drug and some duct tape!"
How come no one posted this old dandy:
"I wouldn't fuck her with YOUR dick!"
"I'm not saying she was loose, but it was like throwin' a hotdog down a hallway..."
"I'm so broke, I can't pay attention."
"I'm so tired, I need a nap before I go to bed."
"He's so fat, he stops at Wendy's on the way to McDonald's."
"I don't know whether to shit or go blind." (I've never figured out wtf that one means????)
"go back to uranus and leave mine alone"...
"couldn`t get laid in a women`s prison with a handful of pardons"....
"couldn`t get laid in a women`s prison with a handful of pardons"....
Famous last words of a redneck......
"Hey everybody, watch this!!
and in golf, a buddy said,"You had the right distance but your "towards" was a little off
"Hey everybody, watch this!!
and in golf, a buddy said,"You had the right distance but your "towards" was a little off
Sounds like my dad if you substitute "damn clue", and three more of his expressions come straight to mind:
"as worthless as tits on a bull"
"He doesn't have a pot to piss in, or a window to throw it out."
"He was born on third base and thinks he hit a triple."
And a couple more from the world of golf:
Hubert Green about the U.S.G.A. setting up a course: "This isn't their first rodeo."
And about the greens at Olympic during a U.S. Open: "These greens are like a Chinese newspaper. Tough to read."
GL
or........... a one legged man in an ass kicking contest.
after a drunk and you pick up a girl and take her back to her place and then wake up in the morning with your arm under her pillow:
coyote ugly = gnaw off your arm so that you don't wake her up.
double coyote ugly = you get outside of her place and you gnaw off your other arm cuz you know she is looking for a one armed man.
Eddie
after a couple of days of hard drinking-i'm shaking like a dog shitting razor blades. and to finish one that was already posted-don't know whether to shit or go blind, guess i'll just close one eye and fart.
He could fuck up a wet dream
That guy couldn't get laid in a whorehouse with a fistful of 100s
