Work stuff:
Lady pulls up to the nurses' station in a scooter. Her hair is in rollers and covered by a do-rag. She says she needs to speak to the nurse of Tyrone Blank in room 21. I tell her that nurse is on break, but, "I'm covering for her; how can I help?" She starts ranting that's she's his momma and she and wants to know why he's still in the hospital.
Before I go on, I know this patient. He's 24 years old, and while he was driving his death trap (I mean his scooter), he was hit from the behind and sustained a ad tib-fib fracture that required surgery. He doesn't have insurance of course. He's probably 6'2" 250 and built like a DII offensive lineman. He is alert and oriented, he has not had a brain injury, and he's a gigantic baby. I just helped him the day before because nobody could get an IV on him. Although he is covered in jailhouse tats and his veins are heavily scarred, he is scared of needles and crying when I walk in the room
Yes, I know it's frustrating as a patient when the nurses can't immediately get your IV, but when you have chosen to shoot drugs, there are consequences later in life when your veins are needed in the hospital. He volunteered that he donated a lot. I asked him how much he could make a month (I assumed plasma), and he said he didn't do that he just donated at the Red Cross to help people and now it's going against him. Bull shit, but of course I can't say anything other than they had wrecked his veins.
Back to the scooter do-rag; I said to her, "Ma'am, your son is a capable adult. What did he tell you?" She went on ranting He didn't know and why are we keeping her boy in the hospital; he needs to be home? On and on with her bs. I said ma'am, I'm not sure what all is going on with his stay or his discharge plans. Maybe you should talk to the case manager. She drove off in a huff. Is it just me, or is it ridiculous for The mother of a grown man who is mentally capable to come to the desk and start asking questions about her son's discharge in an accusing way? Ridiculous! My mother would never do that to me, and if she did, I would be highly embarrassed.
Patient number 2 is another loser. 21, pregnant, and suffering from gall stones. For some reason, they can't operate on her (again, not my patient), so she's laid up in the hospital bed sucking down the Dilaudid every 4 hours. The thing I can't stand though is her boyfriend. He's wearing the same effing Mark Sanchez Jets jersey 5 straight days, and he constantly comes to the desk requesting food, coffee, cokes, sugar, milk, sandwiches, etc. It never ends, and no they never use the call light. He just walks his gross barefooted Mark Sanchez jersey wearing self to the desk and speaks in his meek little low-talker voice to request the kitchen shits. I never can hear this MFer because he's such a low-talker. I start making fun of his sanchez jersey on day 2, but he keeps on wearing it. He says in a michael Jackson voice, "I like the Packers; this is just a shirt I have here".
quit coming up to the effing desk U loser mooch!
Patient number 3 is a homeless idiot who is 24. He looks like a Neanderthal because he is filthy and he has that prominent brow line with heavy eyebrows. He stepped on some glass in the tunnel and got a huge foot infection. He yells and screams when he has pain. I mean it's so loud, he probably can be heard in the parking lot. I hate this guy and just want to tell him so badly to stfu. Anyway, he's not my patient, the transporter comes to the desk and says he is refusing to go to X-Ray to get his test. I say oh no he isn't, let's go to his room. I tell him he's going. He said, "no, I refuse! I'm sleeping now!" I tell him that if he refuses his X-ray then we refuse to give him his Morphine. I told him he had been yelling like a baby all day and he's going for his test. Sleeping isn't an excuse. He went. You have to be hard with these idiots sometimes. How can u lay in a bed all day and night, be pumped full of morphine, and refuse to get your ordered tests?? Not happening!
I had an older lady who broke her hip in the airport on the moving sidewalk. She didn't step off fast enough, tripped, fell, and broke her femur. She's very nice, and I like her immediately. I asked her some routine admission questions, and she said to me in all seriousness, "I have the CRS disease." I repeated that to her in a puzzled look, and she confirmed that's what she said. She told me it stood for Can't Rememeber Shit. I lol, and I had a great time cutting up with her for 3 days until she left for rehab.
Hopefully more later.
